The bounce has lost its affect. Swiped shoulders and bumped heads no longer carry an aftermath of sweet apologies, cuddles and laughter; now it’s all raised eyebrows and blame. The cost is higher, the line is longer and the time is shorter.
The jumping castle is gone, deflated and packed away.
The pavement rocks a rainbow of greys and the bounce has left our heels.
Oh, to be a kid again.
She rolled herself in double sided tape, webbed her fingers with mesh and smeared glue under her feet. She screwed hooks into her back, latched loops onto her fingertips, strung webs across her body and stood, arms wide towards the world, waiting and waiting.
She just wanted to catch a break.
She glued eggshells on her heart so as no one could see it was broken.
She covered her mind in eggshells so as no one could see it was cracked.
She fastened eggshells to her shoes in an attempt to tread lightly.
She tapped and tapped; clicking against the pavement. She would tap until the thoughts stop.
She’d have blisters in the morning.
She stole white lines and crisp waters to still the rising ocean. With a kiss the white wash crashed over her. Thrashed to the shore gasping for air, for forgiveness, she was not cleansed but dragged back under by the current of life.
She awaited further judgment.
She thought herself to be too small for this big world: so small in fact, she often wondered if she even existed.
She Stands on the edge, feels the cliff on her shoulder. She just needs to scull from the bottle, pop from the packet, lick the froth. Just needs a little something to pull her back from the drop.
Prescribed, fermented or brewed: however it comes. Just take the edge off and give her a break from the weight. It crumbles her knees and pulls her down towards the fire. She cannot stand any higher. She aches for a disruption, from the image that she sees, the something she’ll never be.
Let her rest a while. Take pause among the sting the wine would bring, the euphoria of chemicals, the adrenalin of a latte to get her through another day.
She can’t just keep standing there, on the edge.