I wonder what it is about us Mums:
What is the thing that keeps getting us out of bed in the dark hours?
No, it is not our kids,
It is our kids –
but they are not the thing inside us that keep us going,
they are the reason we need the thing inside us.
What is that thing called?
I’ve heard it be called patience,
perseverance,
gusto,
fire,
obligation,
motherhood.
These are all things – sure
But not quite the word I am looking for.
When I was a teen you couldn’t get me out of bed.
When I was in my twenties I contemplated death.
Then I was reborn into motherhood
Suddenly I became more that I’ve ever understood
I am the mother bird with worms in her mouth
I am a house
they are the trap
and I am the mouse
and I can’t help myself
I keep falling
and I keep reaching
for the cheese
and yes I may partner it with wine
but I do everything I do because of these babies of mine
but what is that thing, this thing,
that pushes me when I have nothing left in the tank,
when I am sunk and have sank?
What is keeping me afloat?
Is it love?
Could it be so?
Did I not have love in my life before?
Perhaps I did, but not so hard core?
Did I need more and now I have it?
Should I not complain,
about all the annoying moments that come after the labour pains?
What is the thing that puts my hair up in a mum bun,
gets me out for a run,
gets me to wipe my children’s bums? (in public toilets no less) –
What is this thing that helps me wash away your spew
and still have the patience to console you?
The thing that has me lining up for that sold out toy,
anything to bring you joy.
You cry at me
and to me
and I can’t always make you happy
but I try –
some days I can not figure out why.
What is the thing keeping me from locking the door,
falling to the floor
and screaming no more – Just for a second.
What is this thing?
I cannot put my finger on it, or give it a name,
But I have it, all the same.
This thing that keeps me in the game.
I have it. Luckily, I have it.
And you have it to.
Keep going mamma.
T x
FlyInMyWine 