Wasted Guilt

guilt__by_tooga-d61y7hf Deviant Art
                         Deviant Art

Is guilt the obligatory emotion women are ingrained with once they become mothers?

Too often I hear of women suffering from the dirty disdain of guilt when in their “free” time, whatever form it may be in, are not sidled by their child. Whenever I see a woman with a spare arm swinging beside her ever so freely, I think, I wonder if she’s a mum? Because whenever I have a spare arm it occurs to me that maybe I could have kept my child home from daycare that day. Luckily for me my appreciation for child free moments easily outweigh the guilt.

Women make all sorts of “excuses” as to why their child isn’t with them when they apparently seem totally able to have them. But the truth is these aren’t excuses, these are real, two arm type activities that if given the opportunity are done much more effectively and efficiently without the sticky embrace of a child.

Lets be clear. Parenting is a job! In my case, I already have a job outside of motherhood, as do the majority of women these days. So when I am in my off time I prefer to do all my other duties like house work, food shopping, exercising, cooking and even socializing without carrying my job around with me in one arm and his essentials in the other. It’s quicker, easier and despite the dullness of that particular duty, it can also be relaxing.

Guilt is just a word. Swap it out for something a little more uplifting like ‘warranted time away from child’ or ‘ necessary down time to keep my life in order’ or ‘ thank god that child is in daycare today because I need a break’!I prefer the latter.

You are a Woman. Sometimes that means being a mother, wife, daughter, sister, lover, friend etc. To be any one of those things all the time just wouldn’t work. If your child is happy and healthy wherever they may be during your absence than they are not suffering, only you, the one carrying the “guilt” is. Your child has no idea what the word guilt even means therefore you are the only person making this guilt real. So tell it to F*%$ right off and allow yourself whatever time you need to be a whole person, not just a singular role.

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