Baby Prank

I absolutely did not factor in the part about always being sick once you have a child. Fair enough I’m responsible for taking him to the germ farm we call “daycare” every day but really, I don’t remember this being a bullet point on my list of pros and cons for becoming a parent. I spent so much time trying to ensure that I was in the right place mentally, physically, emotionally and financially to raise a child, that I totally missed the point about him spraying my house with the black plague. And if one more person tells me “he’s just building his immune system” I’m going to cough my failing immune system all over them. I understand that he is building his immune system but I would like to have thought that my immune system after twenty-nine years of being on this Earth was already built. No?

When women that have yet to puncture their force field of immunity by child rearing, ask me about being a mother I try very hard to be realistic and the facts can be daunting. I’ve always given myself a little pat on the back for taking the time to discuss the idea of becoming a parent before doing so but despite the many discussions my husband and I shared, we didn’t factor in that we would spend the majority of our time playing pass the parcel with a bag of mixed germs. From Baby to Daddy, Daddy to Mummy, Mummy to Baby, it’s a small circle for such a dangerous game.

So when you are feeling those warm tingly hormones gnawing at your uterus, ask yourself: just how much do I miss having the flu?

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