Women are women’s worse enemies.
The expectations that women put on themselves because of the “success” stories or exaggerated truth told by other women, has got to be a huge factor as to why women experience self blame and emotional turmoil when they don’t immediately bond with their new alien life form that they’ve never met before. When our moon and stars don’t shine brighter after having our body used as a vessel and poked, prodded, ripped and stitched we judge ourselves so harshly.
Maybe if women were honest with each other. Maybe if women didn’t feel like they needed to impress each other. Maybe if women didn’t feel judged by other women, women who if anyone, should be compassionate, understanding and supportive.
Only a woman can relate to the journey of motherhood. Only a woman can make another woman feel insecure about her experience. Only a woman can create a safe space for other women to embrace and divulge the truth of their experience.
Don’t ask new mothers if their world melted into a glowing sphere of heaven when they first saw their child? Don’t ask new mothers if they are “just loving motherhood.” Be real. If you really care to know, then ask how their experience was. Ask how they would describe that first moment. Ask how their life has changed. Open the door to a discussion where the mother feels invited to tell the truth, without judgment.
Woman are hard enough on themselves without the judgment of other women who when stripped of their over exaggerating, built up lies to impress others, are the very women they are judging. Our journey into motherhood, however different the experience, is the very thing that separates us from men and SHOULD bring women together.
If you were truly blessed with some sort of outer body experience that had you orb angelically into a love bubble when you first laid eyes on your baby, then great, that is truly wonderful. If that really happened then by all means share that blissful experience. If that didn’t happen, if it took a decent nap before you could be bothered, if it took a night of interruptions from nurses bringing this new creature in for a feed, if it took months of staring at your baby or not staring at your baby then that’s ok too. That’s real. And if more women heard more real stories from woman that could stand outside themselves long enough to care about another woman, then just maybe the journey of motherhood would be a little easier, less pressure and embraced for what it is; an individual experience relatable only in part BY WOMEN.
So my fellow females choose your words wisely.