She wanted to rent an apartment in Venice beach, California and walk around in an oversized white button up shirt and her underwear, just like in the movies. She wanted to scrunch her hair up in a messy bun with a chewed pencil poked through the middle, pour wine into a coffee cup pretending it was coffee and stand in the morning light as it peaked through her window. She ached to feel guilt free as she took her time in the shower only to get back into her oversized shirt that still smelled of her husband’s cologne. She wanted to procrastinate about writing while she strolled the Venice boardwalk gaining inspiration from the buskers, bums and tourists.
She wanted to stand on a soap box and declare that she was not built to be great and that she no longer had any expectations or dreams to be the best at anything; She just wanted to live and see where that took her.